"It wasn't sorting itself out" - 5 month old Logan

Disclaimer: This case study is printed with the parents permission, but names have been changed to respect client privacy.

“Tired of Feeling Tired” - Suzanne’s story.

My heart went out to Suzanne when we first met and I definitely knew how she felt. 

Five-month-old Logan was not connecting his sleep cycles and his parents were rocking and feeding him to sleep each night. When he did (finally) sleep, he only slept for an hour or two at a time and could not put himself back to sleep. Multiple nighttime wakeups were the frustrating norm. The exhaustion was catching up and being tired was feeling like the new normal. 

In an attempt to find a solution and believing that they could all get better sleep, Suzanne did a lot of reading and research, but it was all contradictory and confusing. 

Add in sleep deprivation and it was a real challenge. She ended up just trying endless tips and suggestions all making it worse or leaving her desperate and giving up. 

People told her “it would sort itself out,” but it wasn’t. Months passed and it wasn’t magically going away. It was a rollercoaster and she was tired of leaving up to chance. 

Suzanne KNEW that Logan could be sleeping better…she knew he wasn’t getting enough sleep and that it could affect his mood, growth and skill development. 

She just didn’t know how to get him there. For Suzanne it was important to get personalised support and attention, for someone to be there holding her hand and to answer her questions and to work WITH her and her baby’s needs. She had done enough trying on her own and felt like she needed a solid plan and the support to pull her along to the finish line. 

Then she came across Your Dream Plan. 

The goal for Logan was to sleep independently and for Suzanne to have the tools that she needed to move forward. 

Specifically we aimed for 12 hours of night sleep and some age appropriate independent naps. 

This was all assessed on an individual basis considering total calories intake, a weaning plan and moms comfort in dropping feeds at night.

We walked through the game plan together. We offered support and a way to reach out whenever you had doubts or questions. Your Dream Plan was the helping hand and guide she needed that gently led her to see success. 

Today, Logan is putting himself to sleep and sleeps in his crib, even for nap times. The entire family feels so much better! (insert *sigh of relief) 

“If we didn’t start when we did, we would still be waiting!”

Getting started on sleep training has been essential for Suzanne and Logan. Not only has she addressed his issues head-on while he’s relatively young, but Suzanne has learned the tools and has a plan to support Logan as his sleep changes. She never has to worry what sleep will look like because she is confident and knows exactly what to do. 

She is still in our the Your Dream Plan private facebook group and will pop in a schedule to review or a question from time to time, knowing she will always get an answer fast and has a backup when she needs it!

Suzanne knows that she will need to keep working on this as Logan grows. However, she’s gone from confused and overwhelmed to having confidence in her abilities. She understands how her son’s sleep works and frequently relies on her Dream Plan that she built. She will always have this to go back to and ongoing support in the online community if she needs it. 

Suzanne thrived in this program. She knew that she needed someone to “hold her hand” and walk her through things. Since Your Dream Plan includes access to a sleep coach & a certified sleep consultant, I’m glad it could be that guide, support and help she needed. 

What Suzanne had to say: 

“Lily was the guide and the support that I needed. I wouldn't be where I am right now without her help.”

Note to Parents: Don’t Wait

Suzanne knew something was missing with her son’s sleep and she acted. I cannot stress how important that is - get started! 

While you can always benefit from sleep training at any age, give yourself the gift of having tools and strategies in place as soon as you can. Human nature being what it is, we think that we have to “tough it out” or wait for it to sort itself out, and I’m here to tell you that that is absolutely not true. 

The time you wait to get support for your baby’s sleep is the time that you’re going to stay tired, frustrated and overwhelmed. Instead of basking in the wonderful little person you have, you’ll be piecing together what you find online to help your baby sleep. 

Instead of waiting for the situation to come to a head, let’s get started on Your Dream Plan now. We can work on solutions for your baby’s sleep that will help you be better rested so you can enjoy this precious time with your little one.

Is it Harder to Sleep Train Twins?

So double the babies, double the sleepless nights? How do we tackle twin sleep?

Having twins is hard work! Sleep training twins doesn’t have to be twice as hard.

There are little things that we can do to cater sleep training to twins. 

Sleep for Twins

One thing is to make sure that they are ready. Over half of twins are born prematurely, so we want to take that into consideration when deciding whether or not to begin sleep training. That means that we’re looking at their “adjusted age”, meaning that you’re looking at their due dates and not their birthdays. For example, a baby born two months early may not be ready for sleep training until closer to 6 months. Usually babies over 6 months have “caught up” developmentally and then we can go back to actual age vs. adjusted age.

Setting Up a Bedroom for Twins

While they are used to having each other there, you really don’t want one baby waking up the other in the middle of the night. Then you have double the problems - two grouchy, tired babies!

So, use white noise in the room to block that out as much as possible. You’re going to want to get one that plugs in so it’ll run all night long.  Here are two that I like: 

Portable white noise machine

Plug in white noise machine

As well, think about the location of your cribs. To the extent that you can in their bedroom, separate the cribs as much as possible. 

Bedtime for Twins

Like with siblings, we want each baby to have some of your time and attention in their bedtime routine. This is so important to have them feel safe, comfortable, and secure - the foundations to a good night’s sleep. 

While we want to try and have our twins on the same schedule as much as possible. Sometimes staggering bedtime by just 30 minutes can give you the opportunity to have that quality time with each baby.  

Dealing with Regressions 

What if one baby regresses but the other doesn’t? It may be that for a short while, you keep them separated to allow the sleeping twin to continue to get their sleep. 

Wake windows will not look the same all the time. As their little one grows one may drop a nap before the other and we’ll need to adjust based on your child. 

Good Sleep Habits

Like with all babies, successful sleep will come down to building those strong sleep foundations. 

Sleep training really does not change all that much between singles and twins. You’re going to want to set your babies up for success with a plan and a schedule that is age-appropriate. You’ll also want to look at their sleep environment and make sure that it is set up to encourage a good night’s sleep. 

For example, I worked with twins, Jake and Sophia. They were napping inconsistently and at different times of the day. Their parents were exhausted and with good reason! I worked with their parents to come up with a plan for the babies to learn how to put themselves back to sleep and have some consistency and structure to their day. 

Within two weeks, both babies were falling asleep independently and following a consistent schedule. 

“We will never be able to fully express our gratitude to Lily for giving us our quality of life back! We sleep now more than ever and most importantly our babies sleep 12 hour nights and nap 2 hours during the day.

Lily is the fairy godmother in our fairytale. I say fairytale, because we would never have imaged we would have such great little sleepers with having twins in the same room. But that was no problem for Lily: she knew exactly what to do! Lily’s support was invaluable in our journey to sleep.Lily is compassionate, understanding, encouraging, knowledgable, friendly and extremely supportive! When she says she is a call away she really is - she was always right there with us whenever we needed her.Lil Baby Sleep Consulting has been the best investment we have made in our babies and for the quality of life of our family.

Thank you, thank you, thank you Lily! We will be forever grateful to you!” -Issac

Acknowledging the complexities of twin sleep

While helping twins sleep can be “easy” for me. I know that twin mamas are juggling a lot.

We definitely want to keep top of mind that every child has different nuances, temperaments, and sometimes sleep times. This is why it’s SO much more important to reach out for help with this. You are not alone but you CAN get it resolved.

Creating a Plan

However many babies you have, there is nothing like the relief of a good night’s sleep. You’re working hard and you need to be on your A-game!

If you want some help in creating a plan that proactively tackles any sleep issues, with the support of a sleep specialist, let’s book a call. I’d be more than happy to help you weigh out your options.

Case Study: 2-year old Zara

Where We started

A lot of parents will relate to how Zara’s mom felt…overwhelmed and mentally exhausted. 

Zara, had a completely unreliable nap schedule, leaving mom with little time to get stuff done. As well, Zara slept 10:00 p.m. - 8:00 a.m. and woke up multiple times each night so more than 2 hrs at a time. This meant that Mom had no time to herself at the end of the day to unwind and reset before the next day arrived. She was up all night and emotionally exhausted.

My daughter would wake up multiple times a night and would sleep 10PM to 8AM. It was mentally exhausting not being able to have time to unwind at the end of the day. Her day naps were completely unreliable, leaving me with little opportunity to get work done. - Lisa

The Goals

Sarah’s goals were for little Zara to sleep independently and on a schedule.

Using our support and resources, they rocked these goals!  

The Results

Zara is now on a great sleep schedule. This meant that Lisa can plan her days and be able to get things done! Instead of being constantly on-call, Lisa now knows that Zara can sleep independently. Zara has learned how to self-soothe and sleeps for 11-12 hours. Mom has learned how to support her daughter’s sleep and has benefited from our community where she can meet other parents just like her. 

At the end of our work together, Lisa went from feeling overwhelmed and like she could not take a break. Now, she feels relief. The relief of being able to have some freedom again. I am SO happy that I was able to help this family find some balance in their lives. 

This is what Lisa had to say about Your Dream Plan: 

Lily provided all the information, techniques and support you'll need to get your child sleeping through the night. She also provides you with the life tools to get over the hiccups you may encounter down the road. The community she's built of supportive mamas is a feat all on its own. Thank you Lily!

Note for Parents

Parents, please know that while parenting is a 24/7 responsibility this does not mean that you should not all have the opportunity to rest. It is so important that you have time to recharge - for your physical, emotional and mental health. It will truly make you the best parent you can possibly be for your child. I cannot understate it - teaching your baby to sleep independently is so important. Sleep is so important for everyone.

If you want to support your baby in learning how to sleep independently and reclaim some of your time and sanity back plus be the best version of you possible— check out Your Dream Plan. This program is designed for YOU. Get a step-by-step plan so that you can finally enjoy longer night sleep, easy bedtimes and consistent naps in just a few weeks. As well, you’ll have my support and a whole community of moms to cheer you along the way.  

Hold up?! Why is my toddler holding it?

When we think about potty training, we often think about “accidents.” However, a lot of children have the opposite problem - holding it in!

Parents plunk their toddlers on the potty, nothing happens and then seconds later, they're going in their pull-ups, or on the rug. In fact, they may even tell you multiple times that they have to go, only to sit on the toilet and have nothing happen. You might be at your wit's end and ready to give up.

Before we give up, let's take a minute and figure out WHY your toddler is holding it, why it's dangerous and what you can do about it! But, first, let's talk about getting your potty training started on the right foot.

Strong Foundations

How can you prepare your toddler for potty training? First, start with a strong foundation and make sure your toddler is ready.

(Not sure? Check out this checklist!)

Second, take the time to set up your potty training environment. Make sure you have a good potty and that you're ready to commit the time that it takes to potty train.

Okay, so you're ready to go. Now you need to get your toddler ready.

Start talking about it. Read books about it (a future blog post will be on great potty training books!). Get your toddler excited about the idea!

Get them in on the fun! Let them pick underwear with their favourite characters on it. Let them pick out their own sticker chart. Let them flush the toilet every time they go! The more involved your toddler is, the better it will be for everyone!

The next big thing you're going to want to do is to ditch the training wheels, aka dump the pullups and diapers. I know, I know, it's a big deal. But you need them to have that bare bottom time so they can get used to how it feels to go without the safety net of a diaper or pull-up (which, let's be real, is a diaper).

So you've started them off right and you still run into them holding it? Totally normal - let's address why it's happening and some tips on what to do.

Why is my toddler holding it?

Basically, it's the same reason that toddlers do most things that drive us crazy...it's a fear of something new.

Toddlers HATE change, and potty training is a big change. They're used to going when and where they want, and suddenly, there are new rules. Not only do they have to worry about making pee or poop in the potty, but now they have to get up and go TO the potty.

As well, once they have an accident, they may be scared of messing it up. They want to do it right, so their solution? Hold it in and don't go at all.

Going feels scary and uncomfortable.

The Dangers of Holding It

When a toddler holds in their urine, the result can be a UTI. While it's common, it can also be dangerous, so you definitely want to keep an eye out for that.

If a child holds in their poop, it can cause severe constipation and poop build up in the bowels. Then, when they finally do go, it will be uncomfortable and even painful. That makes them want to avoid feeling that way again, so what do they do? They hold it and the cycle repeats.

What can I do about it?

The good news is that there are things you can do to help your toddler overcome this fear of release.

Here are three quick tips to help with a toddler who has a fear of release when it comes to peeing:

1. Run water or do a water activity on the potty or blow bubbles.

2. Make them laugh! This relaxes their sphincter muscles, making it easier to go.

3. Praise them for trying, even if they don't go. The more pressure the more holding.

For toddlers withholding poop, try this:

1. Think about your environment. We've talked about this before, but using the washroom is a private affair. It may be as simple as moving your potty to a more private area.

2. Make sure they're getting enough fiber, water and good fats (advocado or coconut milk). This will help make going easier and less painful.

3. Lots of physical activity with big movement to get things moving!

Of course there are other reasons that your child may be holding in their pee or poop. If you think this is the case with your toddler, then definitely talk to a doctor about it and then book a 20 minute strategy call with me to address it. We need to come up with a game plan in those cases!

NEED A PLAN? Potty training can be super frustrating, but it does not have to be. Find out how our Lil Potty Plan can give you the tools you need to make the process quicker and easier for the whole family.

Happy Pottying friends!

Lil xx

Everything You Need to Know About Swaddles & Sleep Sacks

One thing you need to know about me:

I am PASSIONATE about sleep sacks! I think they are one of the best things to ever happen to babies. They keep your baby warm, safe and comfortable.

Warm-but not overheated, safe, and comfortable babies are babies who sleep!

However, there’s a lot out there. When should you transition to a sleep sack, versus using a swaddle? What brands should I use? How do I know if my baby is too warm?

Let’s dive into it, but a note first.

*Please note all of these recommendations are based on my personal experience, I am not affiliated with these brands. Do not use anything that is unsafe or you are not sure of. Please always follow safe sleep guidelines and place your baby on their back to sleep, with NO blankets, loose bedding, comforters, bumpers or stuffed toys.

When should I move to a sleep sack? 

Swaddles are great for newborns. It keeps them tight and cozy, almost in a womb-like environment. 

Once your baby shows signs of rolling over, you need to move into a sleep sack. This is incredibly important for your babies safety. 

If they roll over in a swaddle, they are on their tummies with no way holding their heads up. This puts them at an increased risk. I cannot stress this enough...for your baby’s safety:  

NO SWADDLES FOR BABIES THAT MAY ROLL OVER! 

That can be as early as eight weeks, but definitely, by 4 months you’re going to want to make that transition. 

What are the benefits of a sleep sack?

Sleep sacks are amazing for your baby and even your toddler! Here are just some of the benefits: 

1. It keeps your baby at the right temperature

2. It discourages crawling or climbing out of the crib

3. It provides comfort and can become a great sleep association

4. They are MUCH safer than blankets - you should not have a loose blanket for any baby under two years old. 

5. Some transition sleep sacks are great for that transition period (4-6 months) where they will keep your baby’s arms loose, but prevent them from waking up because of their startle reflex.

Sleep Sacks and Body Temperature

There are different sleep sacks for different times of the year. For example, grobag makes one that is perfect for summer days. Others are heavier and perfect for those cold winter nights. 

A question that I often get is “How do I know if my baby is too warm?” What you want to do is feel the back of their neck - if it’s sweaty, then your baby is probably overdressed.

What to consider when buying a sleep sack? 

My big three things to consider when buying a sleep sack: safety, your baby’s age, and comfort. Below are some good sleep sacks to consider:

Transitioning to a Sleep Sack (4-6 months)

Zipadee-Zip, Merlins Magic Sleepsuit

Sleep Sacks (4 months to 4 years old)

Aden&Anais, Gro Bag, Woolino, Kyte Baby, Nested Bean, Gunapod

However, the Lily Award for Best Swaddle / Sleep Sack goes to…(drum roll)...HALO Sleep Sack.

It’s my favourite because it’s all-in-one. It transitions from a swaddle to a sleep sack. It’s also affordable, has an easy zipper for diaper changes, and is made with light cotton so your baby does not overheat.

How do I stop my toddler from crying for me at night?

Case Study : 3 year-old Henry

Before: Little Henry was struggling to fall asleep at bedtime, he sometimes took hours and his parent reluctantly eventually fell asleep with him in his bed. He got very upset when they tried to leave and when they eventually snuck out of the room (inching their way out holding their breath so as to not wake him) he would be up anyways within a few hours to call them back.

This back and forth between rooms happened all night until mom couldn’t keep up and just ended up bringing him to her bed or sleeping in his bed out of exhaustion.

This was unsustainable for this family and everyone was exhausted and grumpy.

“we are dreading bedtime each day and it’s become a constant battle, I end up losing my patience and I give in which now has created this expectation that is difficult to move away from because we are all exhausted. We just want to help our son sleep on his own and we want to sleep!” - Henry’s mom.

Assessment:

We had our first call and I gathered all of their family’s info and built out a personalized plan for them. Henry’s situation is common and easily fixed. However, parents needed a concrete plan and we sat down together to make sure it was something they could do and felt comfortable with. Without me guiding this process they would likely get overwhelmed.

Henry’s schedule needed to be adjusted, including bedtime to offer sleep at the right time and optimize the time of the day when his body would be primed and ready for sleep.

We set up the best environment and implemented a structured bedtime routine that included lots of one-on-one time with one parent and created visuals so he knew what to expect.

We had him get involved in the bedtime routine, decision making and understanding boundaries and consequences.

Once his parents had their game plan including exactly how to respond at night and what NOT to do, they were more confident and ready to carry out the plan with consistency.

Results:

Henry’s parents maintained some firm and loving boundaries and within a few days, Henry was falling asleep in his own bed within 10 minutes of lights out.

He was no longer crying out at night and even if he woke up he would stay in his bed until he fell back to sleep.

Henry is now sleeping from 7pm to 7am independently and his parents are also now sleeping in their own bed not having to worry about Henry getting up overnight.

“Our life has changed since working with you, we have so much free time in the evenings and bedtime is actually enjoyable for us. We love our new routine and our little boy is now rested and we are more patient because we are sleeping! Thank you for guiding us through this Lily, I really don’t know if we could have done it without you. “ - Irene - a now rested, happy mom.

Most toddler or preschooler parents come to me for help feeling it’s too late. It’s not.

Toddlers are surprisingly very adjustable and will learn very quickly given that we have a solid and consistent approach and plan.

The most important factors are communication, boundaries, and that they are empowered to want to stay in their beds.

Reach out for help on how to do this.

Because Sleep is for EVERYONE!

**Permission was given by family to share this case study but names where changed for privacy reasons.