How do I stop my toddler from crying for me at night?

Case Study : 3 year-old Henry

Before: Little Henry was struggling to fall asleep at bedtime, he sometimes took hours and his parent reluctantly eventually fell asleep with him in his bed. He got very upset when they tried to leave and when they eventually snuck out of the room (inching their way out holding their breath so as to not wake him) he would be up anyways within a few hours to call them back.

This back and forth between rooms happened all night until mom couldn’t keep up and just ended up bringing him to her bed or sleeping in his bed out of exhaustion.

This was unsustainable for this family and everyone was exhausted and grumpy.

“we are dreading bedtime each day and it’s become a constant battle, I end up losing my patience and I give in which now has created this expectation that is difficult to move away from because we are all exhausted. We just want to help our son sleep on his own and we want to sleep!” - Henry’s mom.

Assessment:

We had our first call and I gathered all of their family’s info and built out a personalized plan for them. Henry’s situation is common and easily fixed. However, parents needed a concrete plan and we sat down together to make sure it was something they could do and felt comfortable with. Without me guiding this process they would likely get overwhelmed.

Henry’s schedule needed to be adjusted, including bedtime to offer sleep at the right time and optimize the time of the day when his body would be primed and ready for sleep.

We set up the best environment and implemented a structured bedtime routine that included lots of one-on-one time with one parent and created visuals so he knew what to expect.

We had him get involved in the bedtime routine, decision making and understanding boundaries and consequences.

Once his parents had their game plan including exactly how to respond at night and what NOT to do, they were more confident and ready to carry out the plan with consistency.

Results:

Henry’s parents maintained some firm and loving boundaries and within a few days, Henry was falling asleep in his own bed within 10 minutes of lights out.

He was no longer crying out at night and even if he woke up he would stay in his bed until he fell back to sleep.

Henry is now sleeping from 7pm to 7am independently and his parents are also now sleeping in their own bed not having to worry about Henry getting up overnight.

“Our life has changed since working with you, we have so much free time in the evenings and bedtime is actually enjoyable for us. We love our new routine and our little boy is now rested and we are more patient because we are sleeping! Thank you for guiding us through this Lily, I really don’t know if we could have done it without you. “ - Irene - a now rested, happy mom.

Most toddler or preschooler parents come to me for help feeling it’s too late. It’s not.

Toddlers are surprisingly very adjustable and will learn very quickly given that we have a solid and consistent approach and plan.

The most important factors are communication, boundaries, and that they are empowered to want to stay in their beds.

Reach out for help on how to do this.

Because Sleep is for EVERYONE!

**Permission was given by family to share this case study but names where changed for privacy reasons.