Our newborn baby would only sleep on us! Now sleeping soundly in the crib- life changing for all.

Rosalee was a second time mom to little 4 year old P and now to a newborn 7 week old H. She barely remembered the newborn months with her first because of the sheer sleep deprivation, to cope she ended up sleeping sitting up on a chair and now little 4 year old P is still not sleeping through the night and coming into mom and dads room at night.

She was desperate to get a better start with her second, knowing that with two now she would not be able to give her best to her children without the proper sleep they all needed. Rosalee, read all about sleep and tried just about everything but couldn’t figure it out on her own. She had so many questions and couldn’t imagine being up all night with all the crying of two babies. She didn’t have the strength for that.

Rosalee reached out for help. She knew this was the only way she would have a clear plan and help every step of the way.

We decided to at least get her newborn sleeping in the bassinet at night for safety reasons and in getting to know his temperament we knew this would be the easiest hurdle to overcome as mom was tired.

WHAT WE DID NEXT…

Rosalee wen’t through the newborn sleep course that easily and fast took her through sleep expectations, how to calm a fussy baby, how to put her baby down and used visual demonstrations that helped her see exactly what to do.

www.lilbabysleep.ca/newborn

“I found the modules easy for my tired eyes and they were right to the point with clear actions to take”

We decided to keep baby in the same room as mom (co-sleeping - not bed sharing) and we first made sure that we set up the sleep environment to be as conducive to sleep as possible. We made sure that her little one was not overtired and watched/capped day sleep and lastly showed her how to calm her newborn in arms and move him into the bassinet. Settling in the bassinet helped her baby become comfortable in this space and got her longer stretches of sleep. We adjusted feeds and timed it perfectly so she was still feeding once a night but then set her baby up for the longest stretch of sleep.

“The best thing I learned was how and when to respond, I was worried of lots of crying but Lily showed me that you should still be assisting in the right way and there was ways to help your baby without having them on you 24/7, I still snuggle and hold for some naps and now I know there can be a balance”

Now little P is 10 weeks old and still sleeping great in his bassinet, he gets up once a night for a feed and he’s then back to sleep until 7am. This has helped mom get a little big more predictability into her nights and now we are ready to start working on toddler strategies with her 4 year old, to get him loving his bed and finally giving mom some peace and rest at night.

“I should have started years ago but I’m glad I found Lily for my newborn. The course was affordable and easy to follow and it made a huge difference in my levels of anxiety and nights, I’m no longer crying in desperation for sleep and my little boy is sleeping so well! That makes me so happy” - Rosalee H.

How to Handle Fears at Bedtime - 6 action steps

Do you have a child who is afraid of the dark or monsters? Don't worry; these fears are quite common and typically emerge around the age of 2-2.5 years when your child's imagination is developing rapidly.

As tired parents, we understand that sleep is crucial for your child's health, development, and overall well-being. That's why it's important to address these fears, especially if they are affecting their sleep patterns.

Addressing Sleep Fears and Supporting Your Child: If your child expresses fear and cries out at bedtime, it's essential to acknowledge and deal with those fears.

Here are six things you can do as a parent to help your child:

1. Discuss fears during the day: Instead of discussing fears at night, focus on addressing them during daytime hours. Engaging in these discussions at bedtime can be counterproductive, as it can lead to increased interaction and potentially disrupt your child's sleep. When children are overtired, their anxiety can heighten due to their natural fight-or-flight response. Therefore, it's important to communicate about fears earlier in the day.

2. Maintain a consistent and light bedtime routine: Bedtime tends to be a time when children want to have deep discussions or delay sleep. However, it's not the ideal time to have these conversations. Topics that evoke strong emotions can keep their minds occupied at night and even lead to nightmares or fears. Bedtime routines should be predictable, free of worries, and not focused on these discussions. Set aside specific times during the day to address their fears.

3. Develop coping strategies: Help your child come up with ways to find comfort when they feel afraid. This could involve hugging a special stuffed animal, using a red light night light in their room, or encouraging them to close their eyes and think of a funny or exciting activity you can do together. Having a game plan and role-playing what to do in these moments of fear will prepare them to find comfort instinctively.

4. Avoid dismissing their fears: While encouraging independent sleep is important, phrases like "you're fine" or "there's nothing to be afraid of" are unlikely to provide effective reassurance. Acknowledge that their fears might seem real and scary to them, and offer comfort before returning them to bed. Try to maintain consistent sleeping arrangements, and if necessary, sit in their room for a few minutes while they calm down.

5. Evaluate their schedule and daytime sleep: Lack of quality sleep can make children more susceptible to fears and nightmares. Sleep plays a vital role in regulating anxiety and promoting healthy emotional development, especially in toddlers. If your child is not sleeping well, expect more meltdowns, fears, and resistance at bedtime. Addressing their sleep schedule is crucial for avoiding bedtime struggles and disturbances throughout the night.

6. Encourage independent sleep: If your child relies on your presence to fall asleep, you may experience resistance, fear, and anxiety at bedtime, or during each sleep cycle throughout the night. This issue is more related to sleep associations than actual fear, but it can worsen the situation by disrupting your child's sleep and causing frequent awakenings. Establishing the ability to fall asleep independently is a fundamental step towards better sleep and should be prioritized. If you continue to struggle with your child's sleep, it may be helpful to seek a personalized step-by-step plan from a sleep expert. We can provide guidance to resolve these issues, ensuring better rest and peace for the entire family at night.

Download your free schedules and nap guides by age HERE

Fears are a natural part of life, and helping your child work through them is important for their emotional well-being. It's crucial to address these fears so that they don't disrupt your child's sleep. As parents, we naturally want to alleviate any negative emotions our children experience. While offering comfort and support is essential, it's important to remember that comforting doesn't mean fixing every problem. If you're unsure about how to proceed, consider reaching out for help. I can assess the situation, provide a step-by-step game plan, and offer support to help you and your child achieve better sleep.

Rested, happy parents, and well-rested children are well-deserved and achievable goals!

From feeding at night to 12 hours of sleep in a week- Meet Nylah - 18 Months old

Nylah, at 18 months old, used to wake up every 2-3 hours at night, needing a feeding to fall back asleep. As a breastfeeding baby, she had gotten used to being nursed to sleep.

Nylah's parents wanted help to improve her sleep so that she could snooze through the night without constant wake-ups. During the day, when her dad was around, they also wished to make her short naps longer.

First, we checked Nylah's sleep environment and found that adding blackout blinds in her room made a big difference. We also worked on adjusting her daily routine, giving her dad simple guidelines for when she should be awake and asleep.

GET YOUR FREE NAP GUIDELINES AND SCHEDULES HERE

Looking at what Nylah ate was really important too. We made sure she had three good meals a day with protein and good carbs. After looking at how much milk she drank during the day, we figured she could do without night feeds. We gave her mom a plan to reduce night feeds slowly and shared some calming tricks to help her settle on her own.

The changes had a quick and wonderful effect on Nylah's sleep. She soon stopped waking up at night. In just a few days, with a full tummy and some soothing techniques, she was sleeping a solid 12 hours every night. Even if she did wake up, she could put herself back to sleep. Mom didn't need to feed her at night anymore, and Nylah seemed happier and more energetic during the day.

Interestingly, this positive shift affected the family routine. Nylah's dad, who was initially more laid-back about schedules, now understood how much a consistent routine could help. He became very particular about bedtimes and naps, and it made a big difference.

In the end, by making simple changes in food and routine, Nylah became a fantastic sleeper, bringing more peace and energy to her family.

Bedtime Battles and Still Getting Up At Night at 4 years old- Liam's Story

"We never thought we would still be sleep-deprived four years later," shared Liam's parents.

Liam, their lively and strong-willed preschooler, had always been a bit of a challenge when it came to sleep. They had often been reassured that he would eventually settle down on his own, so they held onto that hope and never really tried to teach him to sleep independently. They kept thinking, "After one good night, this is it! He's finally learning," only to be met with more wake-ups, bedtime battles, and frustration.

After some time, they reached a breaking point and realized they needed to make some changes. Elaine K. expressed, "We were desperate for some peace and tired of all the fighting."

They decided to seek help and guidance to create a plan. They began by streamlining Liam's bedtime routine, setting clear expectations and boundaries. They let Liam take charge and make choices about what would happen, ensuring his daytime naps and sleep environment were conducive to good rest. Visual aids and clear instructions were used to guide him in what to do at bedtime. A consistent response was established, and Liam's parents received instructions on how to follow through and adjust based on specific situations like nightmares or potty breaks.

With a solid game plan and the support to ask questions along the way, Liam's parents made quick progress. In just one week, Liam was happily going to bed at 7:00 pm and waking up at 7:00 am. He was now getting a full 12 hours of sleep and could handle minor disruptions on his own, putting himself back to sleep.

His parents were amazed at how their once stubborn child had become more easygoing and capable of managing sleep. They reflected, "We now feel more confident handling bedtime because we know what to do and how to respond. It's been a valuable lesson for all of us; we regret not making these changes sooner due to our fear that things might not work out."

The Your Dream Plan toddler program offers parenting modules, age-appropriate sleep strategies, and support to help families achieve better sleep quickly and easily.

The 5 most common mistakes parents make at bedtime

I firmly believe that there is no "wrong" way to parent. However, gaining an understanding of sleep can empower parents to make choices that promote better sleep conditions for their children. Every parent's intention is to help their little ones sleep better because we recognize the importance of sleep for their physical, cognitive, and developmental growth. Unfortunately, the lack of sleep, frequent nightly wake-ups, and short naps can take a toll on parents, children, and families, leaving them drained, emotional, and exhausted. We don't want you to experience that.

To help you, I have compiled a list of five unintentional mistakes that you may be making when it comes to your child's sleep. By avoiding these mistakes, you can create optimal opportunities for both your child and yourself to finally get the rest you all deserve.

Mistake #1: Waiting for "tired signs" to put your child to bed.

There is a significant misconception surrounding sleepy cues, particularly with babies over 4 months old. While these cues are widely discussed for newborns, parents often continue to rely on them for older babies. However, it's crucial to understand that sleepy cues can also indicate overtiredness or even undertiredness, depending on the circumstances. Once your child becomes overtired, it's difficult to go back. Many parents wait for signs of overtiredness before putting their little ones to bed, but in practice, this is often too late.

Get your free nap schedule by age and wake windows guide HERE

Mistake #2: Overstimulating your child or skipping the bedtime routine.

Evenings can sometimes be hectic, especially when trying to finish dinner, spend quality family time, or when you suddenly realize it's already past bedtime and your little one is on the verge of a meltdown.

Just like adults, your baby’s body requires winding down before they are able to fall asleep. It is not an instantaneous process as soon as we lie down. If our bodies are overly stimulated and revved up, it can increase cortisol levels, leaving our children overtired and resulting in bedtime battles.

It's important to reduce activity levels 20-30 minutes before bedtime and engage in quiet and relaxing activities to help the body unwind and relax. Sorry to the parents who enjoy roughhousing or having dance parties before bedtime (ahem…dads).

Plan to ensure that your children have a consistent bedtime routine. Their bodies do not recognize the difference and can quickly enter stress mode if bedtime is delayed. If you happen to be late and rushed for bedtime (it happens!), try to shorten the bedtime routine to 10-20 minutes. What matters most is maintaining a calm and relaxed atmosphere to help your little one prepare for sleep.

Mistake #3: Feeding right before sleep or as a means to sleep.

If you typically feed your baby right before sleep, it may be helpful to gradually separate these two activities. Aim for your baby to feed, digest, and then start the bedtime routine. This approach ensures that your baby isn't hungry but also doesn't associate feeding with falling asleep.

If feeding to sleep is the only way your baby can nod off, it's important to work on changing this sleep association to something more sustainable for your family.

Independent sleep and feedings can coexist without being mutually dependent on each other.

Mistake #4: Putting your baby down asleep

Now, this is a personal choice because if you are okay with helping your baby back to sleep at the end of each sleep cycle (every 2 hours), then this is not a problem. I assume that if you are reading this article, you want to improve your sleep situation and achieve independent sleep all night long.

The reality is that what you do at the beginning of the night matters. We can't expect to set our babies down asleep but not assist them by creating the same conditions all night long.

If you want to make a change, I suggest we start putting our little ones down awake.

Now I get it, this is not as simple as it sounds. What do you do when your baby cries? This is where a customized plan needs to be put in place. There are many ways to help your little one learn to put themselves to sleep from awake, but what method you choose really depends on a number of factors, including age, temperament, and parents' comfort level. It's okay to want to be involved and help calm and comfort your baby, and we can still achieve independent sleep while incorporating reassurance and comfort.

We can build that plan for you and guide you every step of the way. Start your dream plan now.

Mistake #5: Engaging in negotiations with toddlers at bedtime.

Negotiating with toddlers at bedtime often leads to tension and frustration. Setting clear expectations, being consistent, and offering choices can help establish boundaries and allow your toddler to feel a sense of ownership. Implementing strategies before bedtime can facilitate a smoother transition to sleep.

It's important to remember that every family is unique, and what works for one may not be suitable for another. If your current sleep situation is working for you and you are making one of these "mistakes," there may not be a need to make any changes. However, if you are hoping for better sleep, we are here to help you achieve that.

We want you to achieve restful sleep for your family and feel your best, so that you can be the parent you want to be.

Back-to-sleep! Restoring Sleep Routines for the Fall: A Guide for Families

As summer comes to an end and we prepare for the return of fall and back-to-school, many of us are feeling the toll on our sleep.

The lack of consistency and routine during the summer months has disrupted our sleep schedules, resulting in late bedtimes, inconsistent napping, and overall poor sleep quality.

This not only affects adults but also our children, who may experience separation anxiety, meltdowns, and tantrums. Routines and consistency are essential for our well-being, as they provide a sense of security and predictability.

In this article, we will discuss some practical steps to get back on track with sleep routines and ensure a smooth transition into the fall season.

DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE SLEEP SCHEDULE HERE- https://www.lilbabysleep.ca/sleep-schedules

1. Plan Ahead and Communicate: Before implementing any changes, it's crucial for the entire family to be on the same page. Partners should sit down together to discuss their expectations and goals for the upcoming fall season. Families should also gather to discuss what "back-to-school" will look like this year. Open communication will help set clear expectations and create a shared understanding of the routines that need to be established.

2. Gradually Adjust Sleep Schedules: Start adjusting sleep schedules now to align with the fall routine. If your little one has been sleeping later and waking up later, gradually bring bedtimes forward by 15 minutes every three days. Consistently waking them up at the same time every morning will also help regulate their internal clock. Exposing them to natural light during wakeful periods and dimming the lights during wind-down and bedtime will aid in the production of melatonin and facilitate a shift in their sleep cycles.

   Additionally, limit electronic device usage at least an hour before sleep to reduce exposure to blue light, which can disrupt sleep.

3. Establish Consistent Bedtime Routines: Both children and adults benefit from a wind-down routine before sleep. Establish a bedtime routine for your little one, incorporating activities that help them relax and transition to a calmer state. Whether it's brushing teeth, changing into comfy pajamas, or reading a book, consistency is key. Dimming the lights during wind-down and creating a relaxing environment will further aid in falling asleep faster and reducing bedtime battles.

4. Address Sleep Issues Now: Use this transition period to address any sleep difficulties your child may be experiencing. If they are not sleeping well or waking frequently during the night, take proactive steps to improve their sleep. Seeking guidance and support with sleep planning is essential for success in making these changes. Remember, it's never too early or too late to improve sleep, and it's not a reflection of your parenting skills. Prioritize sleep for the entire family and commit to making positive changes.

As we prepare for the fall and “back-to-school” season, restoring sleep routines is essential for the well-being of both children and adults. By planning ahead, gradually adjusting sleep schedules, establishing consistent bedtime routines, and addressing any sleep issues, we can ensure a smooth transition into the new season.

Remember, prioritizing sleep for yourself and your family is worth the effort, and the positive impact on overall well-being will be undeniable.

THIS is the time to work on sleep. Get started here.

Lil xx

From holding to sleep for 8 months to happily in her crib & asleep in minutes

Riley's parents decided that it was time for a change when they noticed that their 8-month-old baby was experiencing more night wake-ups, unpredictable bedtimes, and shortened naps. They understood the importance of good sleep for the entire family's well-being and sought a solution.

Riley fell asleep in our arms from about 4 months to 8 months old for naps and bedtime. We could never predict how long it would take her to fall asleep.

To begin their sleep journey, Riley's parents chose a gentle approach - "in the room method." They wanted to ensure their comfort and presence while helping Riley learn to fall asleep independently. They started by formulating a comprehensive plan personalized specifically for Riley during a private call in Your Dream Plan.

With a step-by-step plan in hand, Riley's parents focused on gradually reducing their sleep assistance. Throughout the process, they kept track of Riley's sleep patterns and utilized the private Facebook group to ask questions. Additionally, they regularly attended weekly coaching calls, where they received updates, guidance, and clarification on any concerns they had.

It quickly became evident that Riley's parents were dedicated to making the necessary changes and putting sleep as a priority. 

We learned strategies to help Riley learn to fall asleep independently in her crib. We were able to choose a strategy that worked for us and our baby's temperment (very minimal crying involved). Once she could fall asleep independently, she would put herself back to sleep when she woke up overnight or during a nap. We also got schedule help to make sure we were putting Riley down for naps and bedtime at just the right time (not overtired or undertired) to give her the best opportunity to learn to sleep independently.

Within a few weeks of consistent effort, Riley achieved impressive progress. She began sleeping independently throughout the night and stopped waking up for night feeds. Her naps also became more independent, with Riley settling herself back to sleep following each wake-up. 

She rolls around happily in her crib for a few minutes then falls asleep. She now sleeps from her bedtime to the morning without waking up, and she even weaned herself off her night feed once she could fall asleep independently.

Witnessing Riley's remarkable transformation within such a short span of time was truly amazing. It reinforced the belief that with a well-thought-out plan and adequate support, significant improvements in sleep can be achieved. Your Dream Plan seeks parents who are ready to actively engage and commit to long-lasting results. By utilizing the provided resources and support, success is guaranteed.

I truly cannot overstate how valuable your dream plan has been for us! Not only did it help our little nugget, but it also helped both of us learn how to give our baby the best opportunity for great sleeps. Within a week, we saw such a great improvement, and we now have the tools to troubleshoot any off days and make changes on the fly with success.

Why do we feel extra tired in the Summer?

Do you find that the sun makes you feel sluggish? Even if you’re not doing much, summer days can leave you feeling exhausted and drained.

There is a reason for that!

I was talking to a mom recently who was dreading the summer, because on top of her regular exhaustion, day trips and outings (you know how much packing and planning that takes!), she knew she would feel drained in the heat and sun - it doesn’t help that we’re always getting a snack for someone.

She just wanted to feel energetic, rested and in a great mood to spend this quality time with her family.

I told her I could definitely help get to those goals, 100% do-able.

Summer days are exhausting by their very nature, imagine layering in poor sleep and non-existent naps. Yes, this sucks for us, but imagine how unpleasant this is for our babies and toddlers.

This mama didn’t need to stress because in a few short weeks she was sleeping 12 hours at night and her 12 month old was taking two solid independent naps a day. She wrote to me saying:

“Our summer has started off great, thanks to your help. I’m not scared anymore!! Mostly because my mood has improved and little Simon has also become a happier baby. Couldn’t have done it without you!” - Jacqui E.

So let’s talk about why summer days are exhausting without layering in sleep deprivation into the whole equation, and YES there is a scientific explanation.

The temperature outside has a direct affect on our bodies. In the heat our bodies have to work overtime to regulate our body temperature. This can take A LOT of energy and work, which in the end can leave you feeling sluggish, exhausted and worn down.

The process by which this happens is called: vasodilation. This process cools our core body temperature by widening the blood vessels under the skin so that heat radiates out from the core of the body to the extremities where it can escape. Your core body temperature can then stay cool while you might notice flushed and red skin, which is just the heat moving out of our bodies (sweat also serves to cool our skin).

This whole process takes a lot of energy as your heart rate and metabolic rate increase and will make you feel tired and sleepy. If you are dehydrated, which a lot of us are in the summer that will cause fatigue as well.

So as you can see you need ALL your energy just to function in hot summer days. Imagine, lack of sleep on top of that? You will be in a deficit. This will shut down the body and brain and they won’t function optimally.

A few tips:

1. Drink lots of water - stay hydrated even when you don’t feel thirsty.

2. Ensure your little one is sleeping well all night! - reach out to me for help with this.

3. If you’re feeling exhausted a 20 minute nap for mom/dad will help.

4. Don’t miss naps (always offer a nap, even on the go). Naps are essential for re-energizing the body without going into a stress response from exhaustion.

5. Wake windows might seem a bit shorter, just reduce by 10 minutes at time if baby is exhausted from the sun.

6. Always use sun protection and take breaks in the shade.

This is why it’s so important to be rested always but especially in the summer months. Use that energy to live your best life. I can guarantee my wonderful families are now living theirs!

Would love to help you enjoy this summer, reach out and let’s see how we can get you sleeping all night asap.

Lil. xx