Are you a parent feeling the weight of exhaustion, frustration, and a sense of helplessness?
Perhaps you thought you had baby sleep all figured out, only to be faced with sudden nights of multiple awakenings and naptime battles.
It's okay; you're not alone in this struggle. Every parent experiences these challenges, and we're here to assure you: there's hope, and you can indeed be the best parent for your little one and feel confident knowing what to do even during regressions.
“Sleep regression” is a very common term that parents use to describe sleep problems.
Your baby is sleeping beautifully or at least long enough for you to get some rest at night and then all of a sudden they are not. They are waking at night and fighting naps, you find yourself back to sleepless night and sleep deprivation. No mom wants to face this again, after having experienced a full nights sleep and what it is to feel rested and full of energy. Parents dread these so-called “regressions”.
What if we told you these regressions are actually signs of growth, milestones your baby is reaching and if handled properly should not affect sleep for more than a few days?
Let’s take a look at what’s ACTUALLY happening.
Sleep is in constant transition. Why? Because your baby is in constant transition. Your baby is growing at exponential rates. Your baby’s brain will double in size in their first year of life.
“BIRTH TO AGE 3 SEES THE FASTEST RATE OF BRAIN DEVELOPMENT IN THE ENTIRE HUMAN LIFE SPAN”
Regressions are actually huge developmental leaps. Your baby’s normal course of development. Your baby’s brain is growing so fast that it causes temporary changes in their sleep patterns.
Yes. Temporary. Regressions usually last 5-7 days.
EXCEPT what is called “the 4 Month sleep regression”. That one is permanent.
Around the 4-month mark, your baby undergoes a significant transformation in their sleep patterns. It may seem like a regression, but in reality, it's a permanent shift towards more mature sleep cycles. While it may feel challenging at first, this transformation can set the stage for independent sleep, granting you the gift of a good night's rest in the long run.
If you are able to help your baby learn how to fall back asleep after each wake up then all other “regressions” are usually a breeze or not even noticed. The likelihood that you will feel the impact of a regression in the future is significantly less because it WILL happen but your baby will be able to handle the wake-ups and put themselves back to sleep without your assistance.
Here are some of the typical ages you will see massive development and thus temporary changes in sleep patterns. However, anytime a baby is learning a new skill (rolling, crawling, walking, speaking) you can expect it to impact their sleep.
8 months (this one can be seen at 7, 9, or 10 months as well) - This one is hugely developmental. Lots of milestones like crawling and standing. Motor skill development is also in overdrive at this age.
Babies usually master the skill of object permanence around this age and it’s usually accompanied by separation anxiety, which peaks at 9 months but can also peak again at 12 months and 18 months.
Object Permanence- the understanding that object/people still exist even when we cannot see them (before this, if they didn’t see you then you didn’t exist and since memory is not yet formed they will not realize you are still there). This can cause separation anxiety as a baby now knows you are there even if they can’t see you and that you can return. They might cry at this point because they want you to come back.
12 months- Physical development like walking. Developmental leaps like speech. Changes in appetite are associated with a baby’s growth slowing down and they might not be as hungry anymore. Nap refusal is very common here as well. A 12-month-old baby might fight their naps for a week or more during this time. The biggest mistake that parents make is seeing this as a sign that they need to drop a nap and going to one nap too soon. This will cause baby to become overtired as their wake windows are not yet long enough to withstand only one nap.
18 months - Transition to one nap. More growth and development! All this along with separation anxiety and language development.
2 years (sometimes 2.5)- Bedtime battles (usually when transitioned into a big kid bed too soon), Nap refusal, early wakings. These are usually caused by a new sense of independence at this age and FOMO. Toddlers are growing self-awareness and independence and like to test boundaries.
So although these blips in sleep are not long term, it really depends on how we respond to them that can make them long-term. If we are consistent with our approach, then they will eventually pass.
Remember, repetition is how we communicate with our babies and so consistently sticking to the same way of going to sleep will give baby a clear message and path to follow. Develop some great bedtime routines and avoid overtiredness and baby will survive and so will you!
If there is no end in sight, then let’s take a look at your situation, baby, and parenting style and find a solution that is right for you. Don’t spend another day feeling tired, frustrated, or stressed, and spend more time feeling energized, happy and confident. Get rested, live better. Take action. Set up a call with me today.
