I firmly believe that there is no "wrong" way to parent. However, gaining an understanding of sleep can empower parents to make choices that promote better sleep conditions for their children. Every parent's intention is to help their little ones sleep better because we recognize the importance of sleep for their physical, cognitive, and developmental growth. Unfortunately, the lack of sleep, frequent nightly wake-ups, and short naps can take a toll on parents, children, and families, leaving them drained, emotional, and exhausted. We don't want you to experience that.
To help you, I have compiled a list of five unintentional mistakes that you may be making when it comes to your child's sleep. By avoiding these mistakes, you can create optimal opportunities for both your child and yourself to finally get the rest you all deserve.
Mistake #1: Waiting for "tired signs" to put your child to bed.
There is a significant misconception surrounding sleepy cues, particularly with babies over 4 months old. While these cues are widely discussed for newborns, parents often continue to rely on them for older babies. However, it's crucial to understand that sleepy cues can also indicate overtiredness or even undertiredness, depending on the circumstances. Once your child becomes overtired, it's difficult to go back. Many parents wait for signs of overtiredness before putting their little ones to bed, but in practice, this is often too late.
Mistake #2: Overstimulating your child or skipping the bedtime routine.
Evenings can sometimes be hectic, especially when trying to finish dinner, spend quality family time, or when you suddenly realize it's already past bedtime and your little one is on the verge of a meltdown.
Just like adults, your baby’s body requires winding down before they are able to fall asleep. It is not an instantaneous process as soon as we lie down. If our bodies are overly stimulated and revved up, it can increase cortisol levels, leaving our children overtired and resulting in bedtime battles.
It's important to reduce activity levels 20-30 minutes before bedtime and engage in quiet and relaxing activities to help the body unwind and relax. Sorry to the parents who enjoy roughhousing or having dance parties before bedtime (ahem…dads).
Plan to ensure that your children have a consistent bedtime routine. Their bodies do not recognize the difference and can quickly enter stress mode if bedtime is delayed. If you happen to be late and rushed for bedtime (it happens!), try to shorten the bedtime routine to 10-20 minutes. What matters most is maintaining a calm and relaxed atmosphere to help your little one prepare for sleep.
Mistake #3: Feeding right before sleep or as a means to sleep.
If you typically feed your baby right before sleep, it may be helpful to gradually separate these two activities. Aim for your baby to feed, digest, and then start the bedtime routine. This approach ensures that your baby isn't hungry but also doesn't associate feeding with falling asleep.
If feeding to sleep is the only way your baby can nod off, it's important to work on changing this sleep association to something more sustainable for your family.
Independent sleep and feedings can coexist without being mutually dependent on each other.
Mistake #4: Putting your baby down asleep
Now, this is a personal choice because if you are okay with helping your baby back to sleep at the end of each sleep cycle (every 2 hours), then this is not a problem. I assume that if you are reading this article, you want to improve your sleep situation and achieve independent sleep all night long.
The reality is that what you do at the beginning of the night matters. We can't expect to set our babies down asleep but not assist them by creating the same conditions all night long.
If you want to make a change, I suggest we start putting our little ones down awake.
Now I get it, this is not as simple as it sounds. What do you do when your baby cries? This is where a customized plan needs to be put in place. There are many ways to help your little one learn to put themselves to sleep from awake, but what method you choose really depends on a number of factors, including age, temperament, and parents' comfort level. It's okay to want to be involved and help calm and comfort your baby, and we can still achieve independent sleep while incorporating reassurance and comfort.
We can build that plan for you and guide you every step of the way. Start your dream plan now.
Mistake #5: Engaging in negotiations with toddlers at bedtime.
Negotiating with toddlers at bedtime often leads to tension and frustration. Setting clear expectations, being consistent, and offering choices can help establish boundaries and allow your toddler to feel a sense of ownership. Implementing strategies before bedtime can facilitate a smoother transition to sleep.
It's important to remember that every family is unique, and what works for one may not be suitable for another. If your current sleep situation is working for you and you are making one of these "mistakes," there may not be a need to make any changes. However, if you are hoping for better sleep, we are here to help you achieve that.
We want you to achieve restful sleep for your family and feel your best, so that you can be the parent you want to be.
