This Covid-19 crises has been hard on everyone and if you think it’s not affecting our children, it definitely does.
This is not to be all doom and gloom but realistically what affects us, affects our kids. Also, changing a baby/child’s routine will always require an adjustment. Change is not easy.
The good news is we can certainly do things to help. We can’t always control the circumstances but we can always control how we respond.
Having weathered the last two months with my own 18 month old and 3 year old and having received feedback from many clients, mom friends and from the conversation I’m seeing in mommy groups and on social media, there are a few key trends that are surfacing with regards to sleep problems.
Here are three main sleep problems that I’m seeing. Do these apply to you?
My baby is having trouble falling asleep at night
I’m experiencing a lot of clinginess and crying
My baby has.been fighting naps
I’m experiencing early morning wake ups
While any and all of these sleep problems can be due to a child’s age, development and a huge number of other factors and can’t be linked directly to Covid. We can only ensure that all the things that might be happening now don’t affect their sleep even more.
Realities of our situation that may affect sleep:
Change in routine - not having a solid bedtime/sleep routine
Shifting bedtime later and later -later sleep phase
Lots of screens - blue light affecting melatonin production
Less activity during the day - affects wake windows and sleep pressure build up
Our anxiety and the news - Stress, worries, fear and anxiety that affect us, also are passed on to our kids
What we can do?
All we can do is pay attention to our child’s sleep and try to maintain some healthy sleep habits. Sleep is so necessary right now and will help their mood, emotional and physical wellbeing.
Here are a few things that you can do to help.
Stick to a sleep routine before naps and bedtime. A predictable schedule and routine will help your child feel more secure and safe. They also help to structure your day and set great sleep habits. Schedule refers to the times that your little one goes down to sleep and routine what you consistently do before sleep.Babies as early as 2 months old can start picking up on cues that are repetitive and as they get older, these will serve as a guide for them to know what will be happening next. This is incredibly reassuring to them and brings them a sense of security, bonus- they often get sleepy even as you start to prepare for sleep! Stay as consistent as possible following these routines and wind downs including times for sleep and activity (even though your schedule might be a little off).
Lots of exposure to natural daylight and dimming the lights before sleep. Mother Nature doesn’t always help with this, as it’s now getting lighter earlier and darker later (in Toronto, Canada at least). However, this is EXTREMELY important. When your baby wakes up, stand with them by a window and look outside, go for a nice walk. Make sure they are getting some natural light as this will signal the body that this is time to wake up. It will also help the brain to produce Seratonin which is associated with boosting your mood. When it is sleep time however, you want to turn down the lights and avoid blue lights from electronics and tv’s as much as possible (I always say 1 hour before bed). When you turn down the lights you are telling the brain that it’s now time for sleep and it starts to produce Melatonin. Melatonin will make you sleepy and trigger your circadian rhythm to prepare your body for sleep. We want this and so although I know we are having to resort to more tv time (for survival!), just try to turn it off at least one hour before bed and instead engage your baby/toddler/child in a quiet activity.
Exercise and physical activity. Not only is physical activity important for better sleep but it also helps to reduce anxiety. This doesn’t necessarily need to be done through organized sports or work outs but just moving your body can have a huge impact on your sleep. A kitchen dance party perhaps??
In addition, getting physically active will help to maintain your childs drive for sleep. Sleep debt needs to build in order to get a good nap or go down to sleep for the night easier. If we are not active we are not expending that energy and thus it affects the time in which we are ready for sleep.
Essentially wake window lengths are affected and we see lots of babies fighting naps or even bedtime because they don’t have the sufficient sleep pressure built up at the usual sleep time. Adjusting wake windows is important here and not only making sure you are including lots of movement and exercise but that you are including a nice wind down (as mentioned above) following and prior to nap/bedtime.
Reduce fear, stress and anxiety ESPECIALLY before sleep. We are surrounded by many vehicles for fear and stress, especially now. Just by turning on the news we are inundated with scary stories. Fear and anxiety spread like wildfire! and if you are stressed, you better believe that baby is feeling that. Sleep is impossible to achieve when you have anxiety. It’s the major reason why adults have problems sleeping. When you are in a fight or flight situation, sleeping is the last thing your body wants to do - it’s not “safe” to let your guard down. So try to release some of that fear and anxiety before bed. Talk about what’s going on and anything that might be bothering you or your child. Try not to bring up serious issues or have the news on before sleep and do what you can to relax and have some fun moments of disconnecting from the outside world and talking about fun or exciting things that can bring about good feelings (ie. what exciting activity we have planned tomorrow- even building a fort in the living room can be exciting for toddlers!).
Lastly, because we are in physical isolation doesn't mean we are in social isolation, keep your little one connected to loved ones via tech (during wakeful times) and allow for happy moments talking to loved ones or friends, these will relieve anxiety. Really the best medicine is LAUGHTER. I strongly recommend some tickle fights, dance parties and lots of snuggles.
If you’re struggling with sleep, this is the most vital time to reach out. I can help you and we can get everyone sleeping again. I promise that.
