If your baby will only sleep while being held this is what you need to know to make the transition to the crib a lot easier.
Changing how your baby falls asleep is not always simple and this is why it’s so important to have a plan and support through this process.
The process will depend on your baby’s age, your comfort and how strong the association is but here is what you need to know to get you started:
For Newborns:
Newborns LOVE to be held and will often find mom’s arms most comfortable. They love being close to mom and hearing her heartbeat, just like in the womb.
This is why environment and how we set our babies up to feel comfortable is most important.
It’s OKAY to hold your newborn to sleep with a plan to move away from that and getting them used to falling asleep in many different ways (ie. in their crib).
Makes sure that for babies 0-3 month you are swaddling before holding to sleep and incorporate some patting. This patting will help them develop that association so you can start putting them down more and more awake and patting them off to sleep.
Our goal is to get them to fall asleep in the crib even if we are patting and shushing them off to sleep.
If you want to continue to hold to sleep but your baby wakes up as soon as you go to put them down then the key is to hold them until they are FAST asleep. So wait at least 20 minutes until they melt into your arms, then you can put them down.
The environment, the wind down and your ability to regulate your own emotions will be important in achieving this. With newborns it’s just practice so if they wake and cry then pick them back up and try again.
After 4 months old (4 months to 18 months)
At 4 months and older your baby should be ready to start sleeping in their crib, either in your room (room sharing) or in their own room (when to transition baby to their own room).
Set your baby up for success with environment. Is it conducive to sleep? Spend time in the room and in the crib so it’s not a big transition. Don’t even RESCUE a baby from the crib but have them hang out there, move around so they see it as a safe space. *the crib is the safest space they can be in as long as you don’t have anything in it.
Always, always put infants on their backs to sleep. If they roll around and on their belly then they are safe on their belly but always put them on their backs first (this is also relevant for reflux babies).
Wind them down and prepare for sleep. This is a simple but extremely important step that we can’t skip, or your little one’s body won’t be ready for sleep.
Get your little on a great age appropriate schedule and make sure they are not going down undertired or overtired. Here are some free schedules to start off with: 3-4 months, 5-12 months
Find a sleep training technique that works for you - put baby down awake. You can do this slowly or fast, this really depends on your comfort level and parenting style. It’s important to consider age and temperament as well, with this as some sleep training techniques work better for some babies and we have to see what will work for YOUR family.
There are MANY different ways to do this and not just one option (cry it out). This is where I can help you find something that you will be successful with.
Get a solid plan that checks off all the boxes - feel confident with your plan - know what to do and when to respond.
Changing the association with being held to going into their crib awake is not easy (making changes are never easy) but 100% doable and worth it with a solid plan and support. Holding to sleep is a strong association and if it’s not giving you the rest you all need, then it’s time to change it.
The hardest part is the implementation. Have support to help you through that first bump and it will then get easier and you will feel much more confident as you start to see results.
It’s not that your baby hates their crib just that they are not used to sleeping in it so they don’t know what to do. We have to start teaching them to love their crib and that is modelled by how we approach it, by being the calm, consistent coaches that can confidently approach sleep, every time.
Reach out to get your that plan and support so you can enjoy years and years of great sleep without any stress, frustration or tears.
Lily xx
Your Pediatric Sleep Consultant
