Toddlers & pre-schoolers are excellent negotiators. Believe me I have two of them!
Everyone is tired at bedtime…except your child is seems. They seem to fight bedtime with every ounce of energy they have left.
And you…well you have no energy left and bedtime drags on and on until you are completely beaten down by a little human with lots of conviction and wants “one more snack”!
What to do?!
Well, bedtime and toddlers/preschoolers can sometimes be given a bad rap, considering they can work well together if only under the right conditions.
First, let’s chat about what’s really happening:
Your child LOVES being with you, they love playing, they love your attention….bedtime for them is non-eventful, boring and blah. Let’s just say, it’s not their top choice. FOMO.
They are also in a developmental phase where they are seeking independence and realizing that they are their own little people. Pushback and power struggles are common after 2 yrs old and add-in exhaustion leading to meltdowns…coupled by a parent’s slim patience at that time of the day, it can be a recipe for disaster or at least many trips back to bed and lots of tears (for both parties).
The important thing to remember is that bedtime is a boundary just like any other that we set during the day (don’t run out in the middle of the street- also a boundary), it’s just placed at the end of the day when being tired plays a huge role in emotional regulation. This just means that it’s extremely hard to hold boundaries at this time and for kids, it’s when they will be most primed to push them.
So how do we prevent the stalls?
HAVE A PLAN!
Making up a response in the moment will rarely give you positive results. Talking about expectations past bedtime is only going to prolong bedtime, engage your child and wake them up more and expect a response next time- which is attention that should be given BEFORE not AFTER bedtime.
So some guidelines:
Set expectations BEFORE bedtime- be clear, concise, and firm.
Build-in ALL the stalls into your bedtime routine, so work backward and make sure all of their needs are met prior to lights out (ie. water, potty break)
Use a timer as a visual - it’s easier to have a third party count down the time. A parent telling them they have to do something will just cause pushback.
Give as many options as possible within the boundaries (boundaries are- lights out we follow the bedtime rules and no discussions will be had).
Be clear on consequences and follow through always - They should know exactly what to expect from you not through your words but through your consistent actions.
There are many other bedtime strategies that you can implement depending on your little one’s temperament but the most important thing is to think about your plan ahead of time so when it comes to implementing you are ready and can go ALL IN!
If you need a plan and the support to get you through then I’m here to get that set up for you to make bedtime easy and painless!
Your Dream Plan toddler has everything you need to get your little one to sleep alone. Strategies that work and will help you navigate bedtimes and wake ups so you don’t have to stress about sleep.
