The summer is great but as the fall approaches, I start to crave more consistency, routine and well SLEEP 💤
If things have gone off the rails this summer, don’t feel bad. It happens! It’s normal!
Later bedtimes, skipped naps, lots of short on-the-go naps. All of these are conditions that are going to likely mess with your child’s sleep, but it doesn’t have to be long term.
There is heightened anxiety around this time of year because routines and consistency have been shown to bring us calm, security and de-stress our bodies. The lack of these, can heighten our stress and prevent sleep onset and as a result poor quality sleep and more mental & physical stress overall.
NOW is the time to get back to better sleep, to get back to consistent routines, predictability and calm.
Let me show you how to do this.
Here are 7 things you can start doing now to set yourself up for great sleep this fall…
Bring bedtime up-slowly: It doesn’t have to be abrupt. If you start now you can start shifting bedtime up by 15 min every few days. Depending on your child’s age and wake windows a typical bedtime between 6:30-8pm is ideal for children under the age of 5 years old. Try to aim for an earlier bedtime and think about what you want your days to look like a month from now and aim for that ideal bedtime (plan everything around that!).
**Bedtimes will fluctuate slightly for babies depending on naps that day and wake windows, however should be consistently around the same times give or take. For toddlers and pre-schoolers it can be at a set time.
Set a wake up time: This is probably the most impactful change you can make when it comes to sleep. Not only does it keep your days consistent but it will set your little one’s body clock and improve your quality of sleep this includes naps/daytime sleep. While bedtimes might fluctuate a bit, this should not fluctuate and stay the same every day. Any wake up before your set wake up time is considered a night waking.
If you have a toddler, a toddler clock is great for setting up our little ones to understand the rules around when wake up time is and wait in their bed until it’s time to get up for the day.
Figure out what YOUR wake up time will be (considering school/daycare/work) and then count backwards 11-12 hours to identify the goal for bedtime. 12 hours is what children require and they might not sleep the entire 12 hours but we should offer it and have it as designated “rest time”.
**A very low percentage of children will have lower sleep needs but if they do, they should still be able to wait happily in their beds without being upset.
Re-institute bedtime routine and wind-downs: The great thing about bedtime routines and wind-downs before naps is that they can always be brought back and re-instated.
A bedtime routine doesn’t have to be complicated, it is merely a set of actions done consistently everyday to provide predictability, wind down the body and prepare it for sleep. It can be customized to your family and look anyway you want it to.
Typically bedtimes should be about 30 minutes and include calming and connecting activities for parents and children.
Wind downs before naps are also essential (no one can go from awake to asleep right away) - it can be just 5 minutes and be a few repetitive steps before putting baby down for a nap.
Set expectations: When it comes to toddlers and pre-schoolers it’s important to be clear and communicate expectations around sleep. At this age they understand, and any changes and expectations should be discussed ahead of time so they know what is happening.
Talking about boundaries - what is off limits (i.e. getting up from bed after lights out) is important so your child is not blindsided and understands the consequences of pushing those boundaries. Parents should be firm with boundaries always, we tend to be extra tired at the end of the day but it’s important to follow through especially at bedtime.
Have a conversation before hand, let them know their schedule will be changing.
**Consequences can be anything you agree will happen if the boundary is pushed. i.e. Mom will return you to your bed silently.
You can expect boundaries to be pushed, toddlers are developmentally wired to test boundaries and when this happens, as parents it’s important that we follow through and hold the boundary 100%.
Stay consistent and predictable always - The more consistent and predictable you are, the more consistent your child will be.
Continue to offer naps consistently at the same time each day (i.e. sleep should never be forced but instead offered under the right conditions).
The predictability and thus safety for a child comes from you. When a child knows what to expect they feel a sense of comfort knowing what is going to happen.
Reduce screen time before bed - Screen time close to bedtime not only increases anxiety but also reduces melatonin production which helps with the onset of sleep (This is something that we as adults should be conscious of as well).
Our little ones (toddlers/pre-schoolers) are extremely susceptible to what they see on tv and their imagination is developing rapidly, leading to nightmares and fear.
Instead, opt for a quiet activity that you can do together, this brings connection to bedtime but it also relaxes the mind, making sleep a lot easier.
Make sure your environment is optimal - Ensuring your sleep environment is set up for success is critical, especially during this time of the year when the sun is out longer, but soon that will change.
Darken room as much as possible, black out conditions are best for sleep because they increase melatonin production. Any blue or white light in the early morning hours can trigger a wake up.
If you have a toddler or pre-schooler, you can use a red light (the hatch is a great toddler clock with a red light option) but any other lights are not ideal for sleep.
If you have a baby or siblings sharing a room (or if you are sharing a room with your child) white noise is helpful. I would stick with white noise and not music or anything where the pitch or tone can fluctuate.
Make sure you are dressing your little one appropriately for the weather. We want a cool environment however, in the early hours your child can wake up cold especially as the weather changes. Use a sleep sack to help ensure your child is warm and can put themselves back to sleep easier.
No need to panic, there is no rush if you start now. Take these tips and implement them as you can and how they best apply to your family. It’s important before acting on any of these steps however, that your baby be sleeping well at night. Can put themselves to sleep independently and that you are 100% happy with your sleep at night.
If this is not the case, then the very first thing to do is to reach out and get your baby/toddler or pre-schooler sleeping well FIRST.
Bedtimes will continue to be a battle if you child is not getting enough sleep. Making changes will be harder and while routines and predictability are a HUGE part of achieving great sleep, we need to make sure your little one is able to fall asleep on their own so both work together in harmony.
Reach out, if this fall you want rest for your family. This is the time.
Your Pediatric Sleep Consultant,
Lily Horbatiuk
