One of the most common questions I get from mamas is “how do I know my baby is not hungry when he/she wakes at night?”
It’s obvious and understandable that parents worry about depriving their little ones of food at night. During the newborn phase we are wired to respond with a feed for all night time wake ups. And let me tell you, newborns usually need it. They often need multiple feeds at night which is completely normal. As they get older though, their night time needs change. After 6 months and babies start solids, the need for night time calories decreases.
I want to be very clear here, all babies have different night time feeding requirements, some can go all night without a feed from an early age and some don’t wean off night feeds until they are older. Please if you are concerned about your babies weight or they have a medical condition, consult with your Paediatrician or family doctor and get their go ahead before weaning night feeds.
So the ultimate question.
How do you balance the need for calories and the need for sleep?
Each of these are equally important.
Look for the signs.
Babies are excellent calorie regulators and they will naturally eat more during the day to make up for the long stretches of sleep at night, that they desperately need at this age.
Sign 1: Can they fall asleep on their own or do they need to feed to sleep?
Does your baby fall asleep while feeding or does baby get fed to sleep? These are two different things.
If baby is falling asleep during a feed, they are likely relaxed, tired and were going to fall asleep anyways. This is not bad and it happens. The difference is that if you are feeding to sleep you are actively feeding until they fall asleep. Feeding for the purpose of falling asleep not for the purpose of nutrient intake. This can cause a suck to sleep or nurse to sleep association. One of the most common type of associations I see in my practice.
If you are fine with feeding each time baby wakes then it’s all good! Like I always say, if it works for you then it’s not a problem! But if you are waking multiple times to settle baby to sleep, it can have an effect on your rest and mental health and have an impact on baby’s much needed sleep as well. Remember babies NEED sleep just like they need food, a diaper change and love from mama.
If you find baby gets on the breast or bottle and sucks for a few minutes and then falls asleep or just sucks but doesn’t gulp down the food..then I would tend to think that they are just feeding for comfort. If they are hungry they will EAT and eat it all. Watch for slow sucks and short feeds.
Sign 2: They will go back to sleep without feeding. If a baby is hungry, they won’t give up easily. If you comfort and soothe your baby and they go back to sleep for a long stretch. Then they likely weren’t hungry. If baby doesn’t settle or settles for 10, 20 minutes and is up again. Then I would think that a feed might be necessary.
Can they be settled back to sleep another way? That is the question to ask yourself.
Sign 3: They are waking often to eat. A full sleep cycle is 2 hours so if your baby is waking every few hours, It’s likely that they are just waking from a sleep cycle and need the sucking to go back to sleep. If you have fed your baby the likelihood that they’ll be hungry again in a few hours is very low. Now this also depends on age but generally for babies over 4 months you can expect to have a gap of at least 4-6 hours between feeds, if they need them. This again is a sign that you’re looking at a suck to sleep association more than actual hunger.
Sign 4: They are under 6 months and haven’t started solids. Without knowing babies weight and calorie intake we can assume that a baby under 6 months still needs at least one feed at night. Again this is not always the case but this is the general guideline. If baby hasn’t started solids, then the likelihood that they need one feed at night is higher.
Sign 5: If baby wakes up in the early morning and is gulping down that milk. If your baby has been crying and waking at night AND they wake up early in the morning and guzzle down their morning feed. Then I would think about keeping one night feed. If baby feeds normally then you are okay!
Many babies between 6-9 months old will still need a 5/5:30am feed and that’s okay. Then when they wake for the day say at 7am, they will have breakfast and another feed. Keeping that 5am feed might be needed if baby is going all night without a feed.
So how do we ACTUALLY know when it’s time to wean off a feed?
Well. In addition to the signs above. I would talk to a sleep consultant. There are many factors to consider before we would recommend reducing feeds.
Here is some of the information that I consider before ever suggesting we wean off a feed:
Age (adjusted and birth)
Weight and weight gain
Doctor’s okay
Calorie intake - I will calculate your baby’s average daily calorie intake
Solids - What meals look like and are they providing the needed nutrients to sustain baby overnight.
Timing of feeds
Mothers comfort - some moms prefer to keep a feed just to have peace of mind (that’s okay!)
Wake ups and do they signal hunger
Also, working on sleep doesn’t have to mean cold turkey cutting feeds as mentioned, you can still feed at night if it’s needed. You can work on sleep AND still feed your baby at night. If baby still needs that night feed, then you can absolutely fit it into your sleep plan. There are many ways to do this and should not affect your efforts to improve sleep.
You just need to take a comprehensive and wholistic view of your particular situation and child. This is often difficult to do with a one size fits all approach to sleep. Babies are human and we have to give them the individual attention that they need.
If you do speak to a sleep consultant and they suggest weaning a feed then a gradual approach is sometimes best. They can provide you with a plan to slowly wean feeds (if that’s what they determine after taking all the factors into consideration).
Either way once you have a great little sleeper they will naturally wean themselves and not wake up for a feed.
If you are still not sure whether your baby still needs to feed at night. Let me help you.
Taking a look at the entire picture can help you determine what is the best approach to take for YOUR family and because babies are not robots, we need to access their needs as individuals. This is the value of having a coach to guide you and get you the RIGHT plan. The likely hood of your success depends on it.
No information above is meant as medical information and you should speak to your doctor to make sure your baby is healthy and ready to wean off night feedings.
