Why a Sleep RESET is so important and how to do it.

Sometimes we all need a good RESET.

You know when your computer is overloaded, too many tabs open and the fan goes on like it’s overheating…ya parenting can get like that sometimes.

When things are feeling out of control a reset can help you re-calibrate.

Note I didn’t say re-start.

A re-start is throwing your hands up in the air and having to do everything over again.

A RESET is moving away from the situation and temporarily changing focus, direction and stepping back. So you can see it more clearly.

Children need resets too. Sometimes when they are fussy, overstimulated and upset. It’s important to recognize when a reset is in order, so we can help our children calm and re-direct their focus.

2 Signs a RESET is needed:

  1. Your little one is not settling, it’s been over an hour and you can’t get them to calm down or they are wired, fussy and not happy - this is likely because they’re overtired. If you’ve been trying to calm, settle or allow them to fall asleep for over an hour and nothing is working, you might think about doing a reset.

  2. If YOU are feeling yourself get triggered and feeling anxious, frustrated or nervous at your baby’s crying or fussiness. Time for a reset. Sometimes it’s just a parental reset, which means leaving baby safely in their crib and taking a walk or doing a reset with baby to get you both feeling less anxious.

What is a reset?

A reset is a way to shift focus from a stressful situation (in this case a fussy baby not sleeping) and moving to re-direct attention to something that can cause us to create calm and distraction.

It doesn't mean start again merely just pause and come back to it.

How to do a reset?

A reset is fairly simple to do, when tensions are high and you feel yourself getting overwhelmed with frustration or emotions, change the activity.

  • Take a walk, get some fresh air.

  • Take baby into the light, feed them, play before offering a nap again.

  • Move rooms or change environments.

  • Drink a tall glass of water, offer baby something to eat.

  • Have a laugh, do something silly.

  • Turn on music and dance.

  • MOVE AWAY from the stressful scenario, sometimes with toddlers it’s about parents walking away temporarily to allow child to calm or asking them a question to move their attention. Once they calm it’s easier to talk about what happened and how they felt, but not in the heat of the moment.

  • Declare nap cancelled, come back to it in 20 minutes when you are both feeling better.

We all have off days, sometimes your little one will either be overtired or just not want to nap. Babies get grumpy too, they are humans. That’s okay, try and if it’s not happening. Do a reset. Try again later.

Walk away from the pressure and distract yourself with something else. If you have to turn on the tv so that you can have some space to re-set, do it! Do what you have to do to move attention to something different. You will find you and your child will come back to it in a better frame of mind and in a better mood because the tension has been de-escalated.

This also gives us the calm to really think through what happened and if they are old enough talk through it together. Sometimes, you’ll realize your baby is not feeling well or just needed a diaper change, feed or cuddles. And sometimes all they needed was some space.

Remember if you are not regulated, your child will feel that. So it’s important to take a break, regulate and move on, coming back to it when you are feeling better.

If your baby is safe in their crib, there is nothing wrong with giving them some space. Go take a walk around the house, get some water and likely they will be asleep when you get back. That is THE PAUSE. Allowing opportunities for our babies to self regulate once they are developmentally ready. It’s an important skill that will be with them all of their life.

If you can’t feel in control of your emotions yourself then you can’t help others, including your baby.

If you are feeling constantly exhausted, it’s affecting your mood and levels of anxiety reach out for support to get you feeling regulated and rested so that you can pass that confidence and calm to your baby and you can all sleep better.

Lily xx

Your Sleep Consultant

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