Nap Woes...Understanding Common Nap Challenges By Age

Understanding naps by age is important. 

As parents, we’ve all been there…baby won’t nap, has a short nap, skips a nap, and you cringe knowing that meltdowns are going to consume your day. Cancel all plans. The entire day is a write-off! Just like that! 

How can parents navigate naps (or lack thereof)? By knowing what you should expect from your child at each stage of development, understanding naps by age, what your baby’s sleep needs are, and how to avoid nap disasters. 

A few things we must first understand. 

Everything is interconnected. While it is true that day sleep and night sleep are different, they still affect each other. For example, if you keep your baby up all day with no naps (if you even make it all day with a miserable, overtired baby), this does NOT mean they will sleep soundly all night. It actually always guarantees that they won’t. Many can relate to this if their baby has missed even just one nap. It’s all interconnected. 

Having said this, night sleep is the first to consolidate and develop. If you focus on just one thing, focus on nights. Naps develop after night sleep at about 5 months of age. Naps develop in order, the first nap will be established first, followed by nap 2, and the 3rd nap might never develop. 

The purpose of nap 3 (if the baby is still taking 3 naps) is to get you to bedtime; it’s a catnap. Strap them to you, take a walk in the stroller, get that nap in however you can; it doesn’t have to belong 20-30 minutes is enough.

Every baby is different. When we talk about handling naps by age, it’s important to remember that. Our children are humans. Humans are unpredictable and unique. What I suggest are generalizations; however, you know your baby best. Let this information help guide you but not dictate your actions. If you need a personalized plan for your baby that matches your parenting philosophy, then contact me directly. We can work on one TOGETHER.

So here’s it goes…

Naps By Age - From Newborns to 12 Months +

Newborns naps - be flexible!

Newborn naps are all over the place! A baby’s biological clock doesn’t begin to develop until 12 weeks of age. Then, as mentioned above, it will start with night sleep which will start to consolidate first. A NORMAL nap for a newborn can range from 20 minutes to 2 hours. 

Don’t stress about getting the perfect nap or even following a rigid schedule at this age. Make it flexible, have a schedule or routine at the back of your mind, and let naps happen. I say this because following a schedule with a newborn rarely works, and it will just stress parents out. Instead, follow a 60-90 minute wake window (going slowly from 60 minutes for a three-week-old to 90 minutes at 12 weeks). This is an estimate. You want to calculate approximately 60 minutes from wake up to down for the next nap. (Yes, 60 min includes feed, diaper change, and a short nap routine) - pillow to pillow (but don’t use pillows!). 

You also want to watch for your baby’s sleepy cues. Aww, cute look at baby chatting or rubbing his eye, he’s so cute can quickly turn into an arched back, becoming rigid, making fists and wailing. Done. Overtired baby who will be harder to settle to sleep. So as soon as you see those sleepy cues, put them down for a nap asap. Assist naps if you like but try for just one in the bassinet or crib to practice and have the baby become used to their own sleep space.

3 to 4 months - the wonder months!

Oh, 3 to 4 months - the wonder months! Lots of changes, growth spurts, leaps, and PROGRESSIONS happen during this time. The hardest stage of adjustment for PARENTS, yes it’s true parents have the hardest time during these two months. The reason for this is that parents get used to life with a newborn, on the go naps, baby sleeps anywhere, long stretches of sleep, and lots of Netflix binging. 

At three months, a baby’s sleep cycles changes, they become more aware of the world around them, and cat naps can begin appearing. This means that parents have to change their routines, and that’s sometimes hard. Now more than ever, it’s most important to protect that nap time and change a baby’s surroundings to begin sleeping longer stretches. You want to link sleep cycles and avoid distractions that might keep them awake or wake them up. 

Here’s the thing, please don’t think that this means that you are now becoming a prisoner in your own home. Life is about balance. Pick one or two naps and protect those. I would suggest your afternoon nap as this is the nap that should be getting longer with age. Protect this nap with all you’ve got, pitch dark environment, white noise. If the baby wakes after one sleep cycle, around 45 minutes, try to settle them back to sleep. You want to help them link those sleep cycles. 

If you can settle them with just a shush and pat on their tummy in the crib, even better. If the baby is crying and it’s been a few minutes, nap time is over. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Try again next nap or tomorrow. You want to meet a baby where they are developmentally. 

Keep track of those wake windows anywhere from 75-120 minutes. At this age and on, wake windows are more important than sleepy cues. Yes, I said it MORE important than sleepy cues. Of course, sleepy cues are still important, but we try to stretch those wake windows by 5 minutes each week. This means that our Netflix binge might need to be traded in for a dance party or some time in front of the mirror making funny faces. 

If they are not tired enough, they will have a hard time getting to sleep or wake up after 20 minutes, and you can begin an ugly cat napping cycle. If they are too tired, MELTDOWN, and they will also have a hard time going down. An overtired baby will not only be miserable during the day but will frequently wake at night and wake up early. No one wants that!

5 to 12 months - smooth sailing!

Believe it or not, 5-12 months is usually smooth sailing in terms of changes in routine and compared to months 3 & 4. So if you’re shaking your head NO NOT SMOOTH SAILING, that’s okay. This is the age that it can become smooth sailing quickly! 

If your nights are a mess and naps are a mess, consider seeing a consultant. They will help you take a look at your schedules to make sure the baby is not suffering from sleep deprivation (a baby that is constantly overtired for a long time). Sometimes tweaking a schedule can change things big time. 

You can also look at options for sleep training. 6/7 months is the best time for this- after this, it does get a bit harder but still can be done. This will help babies learn to settle themselves when they wake from a sleep cycle. This is pretty much key to consolidating naps at any age. 

There are many different approaches to handling naps by age, and they range for all parenting philosophies. A sleep consultant can help you analyze each of them, their pros and cons and find one right for your family. At this age, the biggest change for naps is the transition from 3 to 2 naps at around ages 7/8 months. 

This transition can be tricky, because you are trying to prevent overtiredness before bedtime and shifting a baby’s entire schedule (this is a whole other post). So it might mean a few nights with an earlier bedtime to help baby adjust. 

12 months and toddlerhood - yikes! 

If babies cannot soothe themselves back to sleep, they can still learn, but as they get older, it gets harder. They have been so used to a year of parents doing all the work, that why stop now? I just want to say here that if you enjoy putting babies back to sleep every time they wake up, then by all means, keep doing what you’re doing! 

If it’s not a problem for YOU, then its not a problem! I mean this, some parents enjoy settling baby back to sleep… but you can’t have it all. You can’t soothe them sometimes and then the next night expect them to do it themselves, it’s confusing for baby and not fair to them. 

Be clear with your expectations and be consistent. What can I say about naps at this age..they either happen or they don’t. Toddlers are so active that usually by noon they are wiped and should go down for a good long nap. If they don’t do a long nap or skip a nap altogether then all you can do is shift bedtime early to make up for that lost sleep. 

At 15 months you might be ready for the transition from 2-1 naps (I would not make this change anytime before 15 months of age). At around 3 years old, naps are no more. Early bedtime is key for toddlers (7pm is ideal but it can be as early as 6:30pm). 

This DOES NOT mean that they will have early wakings. Early wakings happen for other reasons but not because of an early bedtime. A lovey, bear, bunny or any other sleeping buddy is very helpful for toddlers to feel secure. This is true for when they wake or feel a little nervous or apprehensive. It can be a great, positive, sleep prop but also you decide whether you would like to incorporate it. 

How will you handle your baby’s sleep?

In the end, everything you do is completely up to you. The first step is knowing what challenges you will face with naps by age, but at the end of the day, you choose the path you want for your families sleep. You are the parents and you know your child best. Naps can be stressful but in the end, sleep is an essential need. Babies need sleep as much as you need food, water and a diaper change. 

Think about sleep as this, don’t put it on the back burner, come up with your own game plan on what you want it to look like for your family. Please however prioritize it, protect it and respect it. If you need help coming up with a plan, want to understand what challenges you will face with naps by age, that’s when I’ll be there to help, support, plan and execute with you.