Understanding how sleep works is going to help guide your expectations
I want to give you this crucial information as we want to set expectations that are age and developmentally appropriate. This will help you manage stress over your little one’s sleep and know what to expect at every stage.
That will give us clarity!
Let me break it down for you:
Newborns (0-4 months)
Babies are born with lots of stored up melatonin from their mothers, this is why they are often very sleepy.
Sleep is very disorganized and erratic as sleep patterns have not yet developed and circadian rhythm is still immature.
Naps can be short or really long and many newborns prefer to be held.
At 6 weeks, melatonin stores are depleted and a baby does not start to produce their own melatonin until closer to 8 weeks to fussiness peaks at this time.
This is the ideal time to set up great sleep habits and practice putting your baby down in a safe sleep space.
You cannot start “bad habits” but you can start setting the stage for great sleep habits as they grow.
Babies need assistance to sleep, if you’re assisting in arms (which is okay) you have to wait until baby is in a deep stage of sleep before transferring (at least 20 minutes and transfer feet/bum first). Start practicing settling in the crib/bassinet at least once a day.
Baby (4-12 months)
At around 4 months old sleep cycles mature.
Your baby will now cycle through a 120 minute sleep cycles at night and 45 minutes during the day.
After each sleep cycle there will be a wake up or partial wake up.
If your baby is used to be having something put them to sleep, they will call out for this after every sleep cycle.
This is a key time to teach independent sleep if there is an association that has developed that is not sustainable for the family.
Once your baby can fall asleep independently they can likely re-settle back to sleep if given the opportunity.
Often after your baby starts solids at around 6 months and their weight is healthy, they can wean night feeds (this is different for every baby).
Lot’s of development happens between 7-9 months and can cause 3am wake ups - nap transition from 3 - 2 naps, skill development (crawling, standing), separation anxiety.
Toddler (12-24 months)
12 month regression - nap strikes, new found independence, walking, talking and FOMO!
It’s important to keep to two naps for as long as possible (15-18 months) or until baby tells us it’s done (if it starts interfering with sleep for over two weeks).
18 months is often another peak for separation anxiety.
Tantrums and push back on bedtime is common and a good sign that your baby loves to be with you and is understanding cause and effect.
Once on one nap we can expect it to be 2.5 hours long.
Wake windows extend and from 2 yrs on, day sleep needs to be adjusted on an individual basis.
At 2 yrs old imagination is forming and nightmares can begin as well as lots of boundary pushing behaviour and nap strikes.
At 2 yrs old and on they may start climbing out of the crib and sleep disruptions happen if they are transitioned to a toddler bed too soon.
Preschooler
At ages 2 and up we are starting to reduce or drop that last nap. This can be a tricky period where child can get overtired if bedtime is not adjusted.
At this stage they can understand and need to “buy into”, feel a sense of control of the idea of going to bed.
There is often a lot of pushing boundaries around bedtime because parents are tired and are more likely to bend the rules to get them to sleep.
Nightmares/scared of the dark are common, making bedtime more difficult.
This is where parents need to get creative but maintain firm boundaries and predictable routines to create safety and security.
There are lots more and many progressions you will face in sleep over time.
The biggest thing to remember is that although we can expect these bumps, they don’t have to ruin sleep for you. They are bumps and temporary!
How do you navigate them? How do you keep them a blip in sleep instead of a turning point?
The answer is A PLAN and a solid SLEEP FOUNDATION.
I help parents do both so sleep is no longer an added worry for them.
They need that energy for other things so let me give you your sleep back.
