All good things must come to an end…nooooooooooo (says every toddler parent on the planet).
If you’re like me and the mention of not getting that GLORIOUS break during the lunch nap gives you chills…well then this information is for you. Continue reading!
How do you know your little one is ready to drop THE nap altogether?
The age range for children dropping this nap varies greatly, some children are ready as early as 2.5/3 years old and as late as 5 yrs old. I would say on average it’s between 3-4 years old and for purposes of starting school, it’s probably going to happen before 4 years old.
Don’t get me wrong toddlers are known to experience various “nap strikes” between 12 months to 3 yrs old that may cause you to think they might be ready. Most often they are not and it’s caused by rapid periods of development. The best thing to do is to continue to offer the nap until it passes…and it does. Give it a week or two.
The tricky part is that dropping this nap too soon will cause major melt downs and a very miserable overtired babe. They will enter a sleep deficit and this will start to affect night sleep.
On the other hand, not dropping this nap when needed will cause late bedtimes, bedtime struggles, early morning, nap stress and another cycle hard of under tiredness.
So how do I know??
Here are some signs:
Your child is between 3-5 yrs old.
They have been having a hard time going down for their nap or skipping nap 4 days in a row for over 2 weeks.
When they nap they are having a hard time settling at bedtime. You are getting bedtime push back and bedtime starts getting later and later.
They are waking up earlier in the morning.
They are up for long periods of time at night.
Where night sleep was good, it’s now being affected in any way.
I always say once naps start to affect nights, it’s time to shorten them or ultimately say goodbye.
What to do:
Always start with shortening the nap. Tweak nap lengths to see if it will help, as your toddler gets older, their sleep needs will be reduced and capping/waking them from a nap might be needed to preserve night sleep.
The is the first thing I would recommend, start to shorten the nap. An easy way to do this is to instead of having a dark environment (as is the best sleep hygiene), open the blinds and have them nap in the light. This will often cause naps to shorten naturally.
Offer a nap every few days. Your little one might need a “catch up” nap every few days. Just be careful it’s not too long as then bedtime will be late and we’ll start a cycle of needing the nap to catch up on broken sleep caused by a late bedtime. If they can have a nap every few days or a couple of times a week without it affecting night sleep, then that is great.
Also, take a look at their activity levels that day, really active children or when outdoor activity was part of the day tend to need a nap as they accumulate sleep pressure much faster when exercising. So if it’s been a physically demanding day, a nap will be needed to relieve some of that pressure before bedtime and not cause them to get overtired.
Offer “quiet time” instead. Don’t fight over naps (ever). Instead let it go and introduce an hour in the middle of the day for quiet time. This is screen free time, where your child can choose a quiet activity that they enjoy. They can have quiet time anywhere in the house that’s quiet and not distracting. Their room is a good option, but I wouldn't force them if it’s going to be a battle having them stay in there. Have them choose the activity and location (offer a few options so that you have some time to yourself). Then set a timer. Timers work great for this age group because it helps them accept it as they hear the timer going off. Start with 10 minutes and increase it from there.
If they fall asleep then that’s okay! Just end quiet time always when the timer goes off and cap that nap if it runs over.
Earlier bedtime always. During this transition the MOST important thing to do is to adjust bedtime. Without a nap your child will likely not make it to their usual bedtime. During this adjustment bedtime will have to move up. This will provide more restorative sleep as the beginning half of the night is where we see the deepest (NREM) sleep.
Never sacrifice this kind of deep sleep for a nap. It’s always better to offer an early bedtime and have your little one sleep longer at night and get all the benefits of NREM sleep that naps don’t offer. A bedtime of 6:30-7pm is usually what I aim for during this transition.
As your toddler gets used to this awake time and if you start to see that they can handle a later bedtime without getting overtired (hyper, moody, melt downs), then you can start moving that bedtime later again.
Meet them where they are.
If you’re unsure of what steps to take and whether dropping the nap is a solution for you or your little one is not sleeping independently and you are ready to take that step, then reach out and book a free 20 minute call with me, let’s take a look at your particular situation and see what next steps are right for YOU and your family.
Happy Sleeping Friends,
Lil. xx
