Making the transition to a big kid bed can be an exciting milestone!
Parents are often unsure when to take this next step and it’s usually followed by anxiety - as is often the case with every decision we make, we question ourselves.
Is this the right time? What do I do if my child wakes up? Is this going to ruin sleep for all of us????
A good way to avoid the what if’s, is to have a plan and think about it ahead of time.
How do you know your child is ready?
This is a big question and a decision that needs to be made by you and only you.
Having worked with many many toddlers however, I can guide you in this matter. As I see everyday what can happen if this transition is done too early.
95% of my toddler clients who are struggling with sleep transitioned to a big kid bed too early. Now, they may have had other sleep associations or factors that played into their lack of sleep, but moving them to a space where they can easily escape doesn’t help.
If you have a child under 3 years old, I would recommend that you wait to make this big transition.
If your child is not sleeping well as is, I suggest that you wait to make this transition.
Generally children under 3 do not have the impulse control to stay in their bed. They just don’t. That part of their brain is not fully developed. So they WILL likely get out and it could very well be at every wake up (which are many every night).
If you have a little climber that is getting out of their crib and you’re (rightly) worried for their safety, here is a few things to try first:
Put on a sleep sack. They make sleep sacks for toddlers and this will not only limit their mobility (getting their legs over the rails) but keep them warm (bonus)!
Lower the crib mattress to the lowest setting or the floor (if it’s safe, watch that there is not gap where your baby can get stuck).
If the crib has a higher back, move it with the shortest end facing the wall.
Keep the room super dark (which bonus again, is also best for sleep). If they can’t see what they are doing they will likely not be able to climb out. If they can see their hand or you can see your hand in front of you, then it needs to be darker.
If your baby is having sleep problems, this will never be a “fix”, unless you want to share a bed, then that’s a different story.
So wait, wait until they are developmentally ready and can understand the concept of staying in their bed. I promise it will make the move so much easier for the entire family.
If you’re toddler can’t be left of the couch or sitting in one place for more than 10 minutes without leaving, then they aren’t ready.
3 must do’s to make it an easy transition:
Prepare. I always say you need a roadmap to get to the destination. If you don’t have a plan, 3am is probably not the best time to start problem solving. Have a family meeting and decide what the bedtime rules will be, what the rewards will be and what the natural consequences will be. Clarity and communication are key when working with children, this is why it’s so important that they are old enough to understand. Get them actively participating in bedtime and allow them own this experience. You’ll be surprised how proud they are of their accomplishments and you will all love the praise and snuggles afterwards.
Communicate. Once you have a plan, as mentioned above communication will be key. Every member of the family must be clear on the plan and know their roles. Write it out. Have your actively child participate in this, put the bedtime rules up in their room. Have them tell their stuffed toys the rules. Your child should be old enough to understand what the expectation is and what the rules are.
Stick to the plan. This is the hardest part. The true test for parents, once you have put those plans together, you must act on them. This means following through with every word, consistently. It might get hard but if you are consistent and stick to what you say, the message becomes clear. If you make exceptions, then it’s like winning the jackpot once, they will continue to try and try because of the possibility that you might give in again. And parents often do! So sticking to your plan the first time will prevent a lot of long term struggles and tears.
How to continue to encourage great sleep habits once your child is in their new bed?
The key is in your response. If it is consistent, it becomes a habit and habits become easier with time. If you change your response then you change the expectation.
If you child needs a night light, as many do when imagination starts to develop and they become scared of the dark. Try to find a red light, or a salt lamp this will not interfere with their circadian rhythm, blue lights will signal to the brain that it’s time to wake up especially in the early morning hours. Believe me you don’t want that!
Sleep Trainer Clocks like the Gro Clock or the Hatch Baby Rest are also great to use with toddlers. As long as they are used properly. The Zazu -Sam clock is great and also has a red light if needed.
Reach out if you need guidance with any of these or you just want help getting that plan together and implementing it flawlessly.
It will save you weeks, months and even years of sleep. At this point if you have a little one that doesn’t sleep well, it’s much better to take action now and get it resolved than to struggle any longer, hoping that it will resolve itself.
Book a FREE call with me and let’s talk about what your next steps should be.
